The devil attendants on the other gate however, have a hectic schedule. Souls from all over the universe flock here in great numbers. The best computer hackers, preachers and god men, politicians, bankers, lawyers, most models, actors and actresses, murderers, gangsters and drug lords, peddlers and muggers, and other such utterly unmentionable folks all flow in at incredible speed at their counters.
As one approached the main junction, each soul could see two terminals on either side. On the right was 'H Gate' and on the left was also labeled 'H Gate'! The one on the left was written in Gold, Platinum and Silver and looked absolutely stunning. The one on the right looked very plain and simple. Wondering what the other differences were, each soul looked harder.
The right Gate was made of mirrors, the attendants on that side wore flowing gowns and had wings like birds or dragon flies. Soft soothing music came from the lobby and white light shone from the terminal gate. All the folks standing there were wearing white or bright pastels and appeared to be very serene. All the upholstery too was white or pastel. There appeared no equipments like monitors or cameras or machines of any kind!
"Boring!" thought many of these hapless souls who had just been ‘transported’ into this junction after their pitiable lives on Earth or other such worlds.
The left 'H Gate' on the other hand, had Liquid Cloud Displays (LCDs), computers, staff dressed in red and white silk suits, Bluetooth equipment on their mouths and ears, and had really cool mobile phones with touch, sight and other technologies. Loud rock, hip and fast music played from the 'invisible' speakers and the gate was made of gold.
The tables and desks were made of black and red gold too!
There was no queue at the right gate but a huge queue crowded up on the left gate! All those who reach the junction usually go here by choice! The left seemed more 'in' than the right!
The security guards at the posh Gate once in a while stared lustfully at the beautiful angels sitting at the other Gate with the occasional tongue roll and wink much to their disgust. The angels on the other hand never really get any 'check-ins'. They sat with their eyes closed meditating or smiling at the souls of non-humans that buzz past through their terminal.
"Heads up guys! This just in!" said the chief devil attendant. Good news for all ye headed for the underworld! We have two VIPs coming in now! Madame Silky Saint and Mr. Jackie King!" exclaimed the attendant to a loud applause of 'male' souls almost all with their mouths open and tongues hanging out!
Mdme. Saint was an actress in her life on Earth and was quite popular amongst the betrothed males. She also had the distinction of having wasted the most men and was a personal favorite of the Fallen Mighty himself. After all it was fallen souls like this that won Him so many! More fallen souls meant more power for the Fallen Mighty.
As the fallen and wasted 'male' souls waited to catch a glimpse of the voluptuous Mdme. Saint, there were images shown on the large LCD clouds of Silky being whisked away in a private special train to meet the Fallen Mighty himself! Much to the disappointment of these poor damned souls!
But it was Jacky who did show up and he got the VIP treatment too! He had shot his father in the head at age 16 and fathered a child with his cousin at 17! He ran a political mafia that was to terrorize Italy and later the United States as well, only to be shot in the head by the police! He had read the Bible when at Sunday school and always laughed at 'He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword' for he recommended using guns!
He had a small cult following though not as infectious as Mdme. Saint but definitely enough to get through security and a berth in the First Class of the Underworld Express!
Said the devil attendant to a new entrant who had been waiting along frowning in the long busy queue, "You have lived a life of total disrespect and criminal intent Mr. Vivekananda! According to our records you were guilty of mercilessly killing your poor wife to get her property in your name and then spent the rest of your life extracting money from tenants on illegally acquired property! In your professional life you squandered the money of innocent account holders in the bank you were the manager of, swindled multi-million loans to buy property in your name and never really paid any taxes!"
"Yes so what?!"
"You have requested first class on the Underworld Express and with a record like that you have instant access! Welcome to the Underworld, Sinner!"
The placid looking Vivekananda floated toward the 'Underworld' terminal. He never bothered with courtesy especially when there is no money involved.
"You, Ms. Eleena Neurosky have been badmouthing and speaking ill of all the women you fancied; depriving them of a good life by spreading rumors about them. Apparently, your biggest folly was admitting once to your neighbor you had badmouthed her! With a record like that I am afraid I could get you only a second class!" said the tall imp with a long face and wide grin.
"That would do! Thank you Mr. Longface" said Ms. Neurosky.
"Ah! There you are Mr. Abubacker! We have been watching you with great valor since the day you burnt three young kittens when you were eight! Since then, you have had an affinity for street women, booze and once even peed in the Mosque you went to!" exclaimed the she-devil attendant.
"Oooh! Mr. Abubacker you are not supposed to say that in here! I am afraid you have an uncanny habit of saying that and it shows here in red! I am afraid you could only get a ticket to Vagas!"
"Las Vegas mabrook!" said Abubacker looking rather pleased.
"That's not Vegas Mr. Abubacker! That's Vagas - the Vagabonds where you would be going. With a record like yours we cannot let you into the Underworld and neither do you qualify for the...other guys over there!" said the grotesque looking 'female' attendant pointing at the other gate.
"But-but...there must be some way!" croaked the confused Abubacker. It was obvious he was not aware where he was and where he should be going.
"Mr. Abubacker, your soul should have a minimum...uhmm could you please place your baggage on the weighing machine please?" asked Ms Red. The ‘luggage’ is usually the image of the most ‘valued’ possessions a soul has. Many carry their fortunes, some their cars or their love interests and seldom carry their sacrifices, humility and compassion or images of their children...the only ‘real’ possessions they leave on Earth.
The fallen soul did what he was told. Mr. Abubacker carried his concubines, girlie magazines and sex tapes, a knife and the Koran! A gasp shrieked out of the machine that weighed Abubacker's 'luggage’.
"Oooh! That can't get you past, Mr. Abubacker! You must know that there is no point in carrying this if you do not respect it!" exclaimed Ms. Red pointing at the Koran.
"But-but what is wrong in carrying the Koran?!"
"Mr. Abubacker, you do not know the rules! You are what is called a middle soul! Your deeds or words seem to qualify you but for neither gate! For such a soul no Gate actually works! In other words you are a misfit! So what we suggest you could do is, pledge your soul to the Fallen Mighty by signing this contract and then go back to Earth and start all over again!" said the attendant handing out a legal document with the seal of the devil.
"B-but I thought rebirth was not possible in Islam!" said a rather unhappy looking Abubacker as he pledged his soul to the Fallen Mighty. This would mean he would be reborn on Earth to be judged again, but would be brought up by the agents of the Fallen Mighty. In most cases, such souls often were ‘won’ back by the dark Lord.
"Islam is one of a few paths my friend. There's no point in being in a path but not walking it!!" said the chief attendant. "At least you could have walked the wrong way!"
All of a sudden, trumpets sounded in the distance. The angels jumped to life. After about an hour or more of no work they finally had a human soul! The angels sang a beautiful song to welcome this rare soul. The music was soothing but the devils frowned upon it! They launched the shields to keep the dark souls from hearing the songs of love and devotion.
"That's the way...that's the way I wanna rock and roooooll!" screamed through the invisible speakers. The fallen souls fell deeper into their dark but false hopes. Most of them thought hell was a place full of discotheques, bars, 'fire', 'ice' or 'water' themed restaurants, light clubs and other fun places! They had no idea what was in store for them.
Meanwhile, the angels welcomed a 'baby' soul! It had hardly been a year on Earth when its soulless step-mother threw it on the floor when it cried. The step mother could not hear her favorite sitcom due to the child's constant wailing and blinded by anger, threw the young baby to make it stop crying.
Watching all this from a dark cavern were two dark figures. "Excellent crowd today My Lord! If this continues we will be able to win the great battle to wipe out the heavens!" said the Minister.
A whimper of a shallow snicker could be heard from his master.
"Was n't Mdme Saint to arrive here, my liege?"
"Yes Minister! My good friend! You will have to send her back again! And give her anything she desires!"
"But my lord the last time she desired for a life of eternal luxury! Here in Hell! It was difficult to repudiate! She is so much trouble!!" said the minister.
"Yes Minister! Just put her in some family of perverts...the regular ones on Earth or in some other impoverished place with nothing but our regular agents and she will make it! This time make her a little more plumper...my next season is going to be for the plumper ones!!" said the fallen mighty with a grin. "I have arranged with my media friends and the other slaves on this and this should be the next big thing!"
The minister's left eye started blinking. "It's her, my lord! She wishes to speak to you! She says she will speak only to you!" said the minister.
"How did she call to your eyePhone?!" asked the dark lord.
"The train my lord! She calls from the train!" said the worried minister.
"How does she retain memory of this place I wonder?!"
"It must be that idiot writer who writes about hell after he accidentally tuned in to our frequency! She once met this guy in a flight on Earth and was no doubt charmed by this freak and his charms! I hear he resembles the ‘Holy Son’ my lord! He is such a freak!"
"Zounds! Hmmm...were n't the agents deployed to silence this threat?!" asked Satan. As the Fallen Mighty said this the dark corners of the place they were in, glowed a bit. Each word or thought against the Almighty put the underworld in pressure.
"My lord, our agents have succeeded in containing the intelligence of Earth humans and have degenerated the need and image of education! Most of the billionaires in power are college dropouts and so the young ones are disillusioned about education!"
"Excellent move Minister!!!" said the dark lord with a big wide grin.
"Thank you, my liege! And so it has happened, people on Earth and the other worlds, do not read any good books and spend time on the internet seeing junk!!! Our agents and previous hacker souls are working overtime to keep them busy my lord! So it is highly unlikely that anyone will read what this guy writes!!! And I have arranged for this freak's next book 'The path to Heaven' to be a total dud!"
"Heh heh you wicked rascal you!" snickered the Fallen Mighty.
"My lord, what will I tell this lady?"
"The usual, minister! Never tell her how important she is to us. Tell her she will marry one of Earth's richest men, live a life of great abundance and pleasures. She will fall for it!"
"O-OK my lord!" said the sweating minister reluctantly.
"I know you will take care!" said the dark lord with an impish look.
The dark lord disappeared with a sudden puff of black and red smoke. The light dimmed and a door appeared. "Come in, my sweets!" said the minister wiping sweat off his face.
"Are you the...?" asked the voluptuous Mdme Saint.
"Oh my folly! You are mistaken! I am Minister Fakhruddin and I am MEAN-Minister of Earthly Affairs and Naturalization! I am in charge of immigration and naturalization to the Underworld and you have no doubt seen how busy my team is! Welcome to Hell!"
"Oh! I thought you were...you remind me of my agent and I always thought he was Satan! Sorry!" said Mdme Saint.
"Apologies not required Mdme Saint! Let me tell you about our plans for you. The Fallen Mighty has arranged for your reward. You will get all that was promised but you will have to return to Earth!"
"Oh-no oh-no not Earth! I was thinking off having my holidays in Argon!" said Mdme. Saint hoping to live in another planet know for it’s riches and vigorous life.
"Afraid not, Mdme. Saint! You did well but you still fell short of the one million souls you had promised in our last meeting!" said the minister as a video played in the background. "One million souls Ms. Luna" said the minister in the video. "Agreed!" said Mdme. Saint in the video. She was called Ms. Luna in her last life. She was a street woman who had become the wife of the president of her land as agreed with her previous pact with the dark lord. She managed to bring him shame by exposing herself to her countrymen. But he was a shameless man and shared her with as many as he could. He had won his way through like that. He too was a 'pledged' soul like her!
"But I don't want to...I am sick and tired of all this! Give me my key!" pleaded Mdme Saint.
"You will get your key. But you must succeed this time Mdme Saint! This is your last chance. Get us a million souls and you will get your reward for all eternity!" said the minister pointing to a video of 'Paradise'.
There were 'pockets' of paradise in the underworld which were 'traded' or created within the underworld. These were reserved for souls of 'useful' people or souls of the great artists, musicians, architects and the like who were often hired or ‘hijacked’ to the underworld. The Fallen Mighty and his ministers did a lot of 'soul trade' to build the accommodation and facilities for such an overwhelming flow of souls! It was worth it as these actual architects and builders were far better than the useless souls of those who bribed their way to Engineering colleges and schools and finally ended up here! The accommodation those guys did could n't hold even a hundred souls and often collapsed! Running the underworld was no easy task!!
"I insist I get my key! I will not leave without my keys to ultimate luxury! Give me my keys you moron!" shouted Mdme Saint in her Slovakian accent, her eyes flaring and the room getting hotter than usual.
Only souls with power could do that!
The minister brought up his palm close to his face and put his fingers as if to snap. A 'key' appeared.
The key was usually given at the end of the underworld ‘tour’ where a meeting with the Minister or his deputies was often customary. These were the will of the Almighty and only the MEAN Minister and his deputies were given powers to hand them over to the fallen souls. In most cases, these keys were portals to eternal damnation.
"Here, take your key but remember..."
"My Prada shoe-ed foot!" exclaimed Mdme Saint and grabbed the key. The key was a portal to another world and as the lights fizzled and she 'popped' from the underworld in a jiffy, she heard a distinct '...one million souls!'
She ended up in total darkness and for moments she could not feel or see anything. The infinite void and quiet engulfing her made her scream. She screamed but there was no sound. She kept screaming for ages. She knew she was tricked by the minister.
Her memories kept diminishing. She forgot all about the where and what she was. She began to feel forces around her. She sometimes heard voices too! They did not sound happy but yes, they were voices.
She was in the womb of her to-be mother, Svetlana...a rich woman in Budapest. This time she was to be born in a richer family, and aim to get one million souls! Svetlana was very young and married to 63 year old 'Auto' Anbani, the founder of the 'Bikini Babes' and 'Babe' franchises...notorious for showing off women as objects of desire.
As the Underground Express zoomed past the ups and downs of the underworld, the 'commuters' saw vast cities and structures made of gold and platinum. 'All my life on Earth I thought I would rot in hell!' thought Mr. Vivekananda. 'Now I am in paradise to live in infinite pleasure! Some say great pleasures await us! Though I did feel like cursing my son Balachander for strangling me for all my property, but I am so glad he did! Now I can have all the real estate I want!!! And this first class ticket is HOT!' thought Mr. Vivekananda looking at the pole dancing devil-girl allocated for his cabin.
"You are hot!" said the now grinning Mr. Vivekananda. His teeth were uneven and dirty. He never brushed even once in the last fifty years!
"I should be sweets! My name’s 'Hot-Stuff!’" said the curvy looking damsel whirling her tail in circles that gnawed at her 'master'.
"Mr. Vivekananda Rao!" called the Ticket examiner.
"You get down here, Sir! Have a nice stay!" said the TE as Ms. Hotstuff un-entangled her legs and tail from an embarrassed but disappointed looking Mr. Vivekananda. He was not used to such embarrassments on Earth like most of his fellow countrymen. Most of the folks in his country did these kinds of things locked away from society in secrecy!
As the placid looking soul took the 'key' he was given and fed it to the slot near the door as he was instructed, the brightly lit train, Ms. Hotstuff and the TE disappeared like a curtain torn apart in front of the eyes. Ms Hotstuff waved a goodbye kiss with a devilish grin, her lips wet and inviting but the eyes glowing a menacing red. All that remained was total darkness!
After a while, Mr. Vivekananda could make out where he was. He did get infinite real estate as his insect heart wished when he was on earth, only now he was in the middle of Hell!
Great fires roared as far as he could see but they were so far off he could barely see them. The reddish black sky was all that was beside an infinite sea of wasteland. The deafening silence and the distant roaring was scary as it was unimaginable. In a spark that flamed red, Mr. Vivekananda disappeared leaving a trail of smoke that was red and black and which almost flowed like a liquid! Whatever was left of him 'fell' to the infinite sea of dark matter below! And after a long pause, his fallen soul finally touched the surface emitting rings of red light and excruciating pain for him. He had just been added to one of the 'sea of souls' of the Fallen Mighty! To rot in it for all eternity! And as he rotted, he fueled the fires of hell, which in turn burnt and tortured his very essence.